On Saturday Lauren and I traveled to Polihale Beach on the west side of the island. It was a long drive and lots of dirt roads but totally worth it. Extremely beautiful, even though it rained quite a bit on us. Looking west you see a succession of rock walled cliffs jutting out to the ocean, each one framing the next. There are pavilions scattered along the dune line, filled with small parties of campers and families.
In Hawaii one year birthdays are a big deal and parties are usually held. We were invited to Kainoa’s niece’s celebration in Anahola. It was a really local scene with lots of traditional yummy Hawaiian food, beer, and music. Lauren initiated a game of ‘flip cup’ which had to be taught to everyone involved and brought with it the expected hilarity. All of the family referred to themselves as “auntie” and “uncle,” even to a stranger like myself. Lots of guys from the Kauai softball team (The Cocks) showed up, and their leader, “Father Cock”- an older man that actually goes by “Father” which I really liked, especially when they joined in for some flip cup and I got to yell “go Father”! Haha everyone was getting pretty wild.
There were tons of little dogs running around looking for scraps and I heard that there were some puppies hidden away somewhere on the property. There were several Mama dogs lurking around that looked like they were still nursing and I fed them lots of steak and chicken. Eventually someone let us behind the iron curtain and there were 3 of the sweetest-faced pups you could want to see.
On Sunday Lauren babysat Kainoa’s 3 month old niece which was lovely because I realllly miss the twinsies. That baby girl was so sweet and looked like a little woman with great big cheeks and lots of straight, shiny black hair.
After her grandmother came to get her we spent the afternoon on the beach in Anahola with some of Kainoa’s relatives. It was a little overcast and chilly as it got later, so we made a beach fire. There is tons of driftwood all over the beach which was perfect. There was a baby whale breaching offshore. One of the guys pulled their truck up to the beach and put on some good reggae too.
Something really sweet that I noticed pretty much everywhere I went on Kauai from the airport, to the grocery store, a party, and the beach is that fathers seem to play a major care giving role to children here and just seem to be everywhere with a toddler on the hip. There is a lot of differences around children and parenting actually. Lauren is the DA here, (which they refer to as “the prosecutor”) so in the interest of social work I harassed her daily by picking her brain about the social problems she sees here. Something really interesting is that there is a TON of teen pregnancy (young teens too!) and this is not really seen by locals as a social ‘problem‘ per say. There is hardly any emphasis on higher education and the value system around reproduction is centered around a celebratory attitude of any new life that’s brought into the family. It seems that families tend to be connected in a more extended manner in general, probably due in part to the close proximity of the small island lifestyle. There is a lot of contrast with the community energy of the East Coast.
On the other hand, I did see some pretty severe spankings take place in the Walmart lines and about town parents take a different approach to discipline for sure. Seems to be socially accepted for the most part. There are a lot of children that have clearly had little or poor dental care, and in general the amount of local people that are missing teeth reflects that.
All of the Kauaiians that I met were beautiful, generous, kind, and family oriented people. After a week spent on the island I can by no means claim to know every difference or sameness that exists, but I definitely learned some things. And the landscape definitely competes with the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Aloha and Mahalo Hawaii!
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